A Series of Moments
by Schermionie
Summary: What is life but a series of moments? Six characters and one important moment for each of them. COMPLETE: Honjou Setsuna, 'time'. Vijaya, 'family'. Usui Naohiro, 'anger'. Katsuragi Seiichi, 'pride'. Ai, 'love'. Higuchi Yuuya, 'connections'.
1. Time

**'Time'**

I have heard the question "does the name make the person or does the person make the name?"

Or rather, are we influenced by the names we are given or do we, ourselves, give those names their meanings?

Perhaps, when my father named me, he was not thinking of mathematics... perhaps he merely saw my life as just a single 'moment' in time.

Perhaps he believed that my life would be fleeting... not unimportant, I like to think, but fleeting.

Like his first experiments with cardboard-house making. Washed away by the rain...

But when they went wrong he tried again, this time learning from the mistakes he'd made.

Is my life, then, just one 'moment'? Or is it a series of them?

How long is a 'moment'? An 'instant'?

How long is _my_ 'moment'? _My_ 'instant'?

* * *

_Disclaimer:_ _Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro belongs to the man that it belongs to. He is amazing. Worship him. 'Cause he most definitely isn't _me_._

_A/N:_ _I'm reluctant to post this because I really have no idea if people will be interested in seeing the other five chapters (varying length), but, of the four or so fics I have ready to be posted to celebrate me finishing the manga (which this fic will have spoilers for), this feels the most appropriate one to post first. Please let me know what you think, because there are five more characters to hear from!_


	2. Family

**'Family'  
**

Leaves rustle audibly in the light breeze that carries away Shinobu's cigarette smoke.

The sound they make... it puts me at peace in a way that 'home' never has.

"I knew you were a herbivore, Chi-boy, but _this _is where you've made me take ya?" says Shinobu, looking around us with a look of casual boredom mixed with derision. He rests comfortably against the bonnet of the car we stole to get here. I have no idea what he's thinking.

The man I sometimes wish was my older brother... can he really understand?

For these months that I've spent with him. Listening to him talk, to him trying to teach me things despite it having no obvious gain for him... Somewhere along the way I've started to want to tell him things, not just listen. But will he be able to understand?

That feeling of family?

Family, even when there's no one else around you... Nothing but plants, swaying in the breeze.

They are my family. The 'me' now has no human family.

I knew that when my mother died.

But maybe, if Shinobu can understand why I like this forest -- even just a little bit -- _he_ can be my family, too.

Because he doesn't have anyone else, either.


	3. Anger

**Disclaimer: **Something about ownership and Yuusei Matsui and please don't sue me.

**A/N**: A few formatting problems between my personal vision and this website's "what on earth is 'right alignment'?" attitude, but other than that I quite like this chapter... and I really want to know what other people think of it. So thanks to everyone who has reviewed because you're awesome -- and please do so again? (Also, merry 24th December!)

* * *

**'Anger' **

_You could always..._

Rankle me.

You always had that ability.

To anger and unsettle and confuse me.

Autumn was your favourite season, wasn't it?

You left the cherry blossom watching to other people, only taking any real delight in watching the rich red leaves fall from their trees.

I didn't understand it, but I liked it.

Because in the autumn we would lie under those trees, elbows barely touching when we rested our heads on our arms, observing the falling leaves and talking about our dreams.

Not just our dreams...

We'd plan, too.

Every time we took a drag of a cigarette or a swig of a drink or a risk on a game of pure chance we'd say, "Not when we're older." We'd vow to stop our bad behaviour when our hard work had pulled us through to the end.

Lying on that bed of leaves we'd talk of anything and everything... It was an important time.

_...always..._

And in the rainy season we'd find our way home as darkness set in.

We'd be soaking and our clothes would be sticking to our skin.

But we'd be laughing and laughing.

Because it didn't matter. Not as we were.

That was something we both shared.

There are so many things that

_ ...have been..._

that will never 'be' again.

And I'm angry about that, Eishi.

What gives _you _the right to destroy _our _moment, Eishi?

What gives you the right to take away that peace?!

I'm angry at you.

I'm angry at you because even when things didn't go to plan... you still had a choice. I gave you a choice that was

_...so much better..._

than the one you chose.

'Sasazuka - 1st place'. 'Usui - 2nd place'.

These words and a blank stare.

Wasn't how it was supposed to go.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GLOAT.

You were supposed to say 'better luck next time'.

Pretending to be calm and unconcerned about your win while you _gloated_.

While we watched the red leaves fall from their trees as top police officers, elbows barely touching as we rested our heads on our arms.

Looking up.

Looking forward.

I'm angry at you for your death, Eishi. But I'm angry at you for your life, more.

It was a betrayal.

A betrayal to me.

Because you made revenge a more important goal

_...than me._


	4. Pride

**'Pride'**

When I realised that Haruka _could not _cook...

Well, it was a little bit of a relief, to be honest.

I grew up in a household where food was important... but I'd always found the endless preparations and competition over who could cook the best meal a hassle.

The most important thing to think of when cooking, in my mind, was always who you would eat the food with.

**STAB**.

When Haruka was pregnant...

Well, it was a little bit of a shock, to be honest.

We'd wanted children... but she'd been having problems conceiving.

When we talked about this, the first thing she'd say would be, "Haven't you ever thought that _you're _the one with problems conceiving, Seiichi?"

Maybe she was right -- but my pride as a man wouldn't let me say that.

But when she brought Yako into the world... it wasn't our pride as 'man' and 'woman' that filled us. It was the pride of parents over the daughter who we were sure would be... beautiful.

**STAB**.

And you were, Yako. You _are_.

And even if I won't be around to see it... I know that _you will always be_...

...beautiful.

**STAB**.

When I learned of your appetite...

Well, it was a little bit terrifying, to be honest.

I started to let Haruka cook for you in the hopes that you would be dissuaded from eating so much.

But, in the end, it only helped you appreciate anything and everything that is edible all the more. (You may not remember this, Yako, but I secretly removed anything inedible before serving things up.)

That made Haruka feel proud of her cooking (something which I am sure had never happened before), but, after that, I started cooking again, teaching you when I could as you grew older.

And... how quickly you learned, Yako.

**STAB**.

Do you remember the day I took you fishing, Yako?

It was a father-daughter outing.

Because the older you grew the less we had of them.

I couldn't regret that any more than I do now.

**STAB**.

You did so well.

I hadn't expected that.

I only remembered the times when you were younger when I had had to _teach_ you things... so much so that it shocked me to see how far you'd come on your own.

So easily.

So, I left, taking and keeping that picture of contentment on your face as you ate the huge fish you'd caught in my memory forever... knowing that, even if I hadn't taught you to do it, you could get the train home on your own.

You had damaged my pride as a man, Yako, but, in the end, that didn't matter.

Now that we have you, the only pride that matters to us is our pride as parents.

**STAB**.

_Goodbye, Yako._

I wish I had got to tell you all this...

...but, somehow, I think you know anyway.


	5. Love

**'love'**

'Ai' means 'love', and that is what I give my master.

But there are nights when he cannot recognise the things that he sees around him every day.

There are nights when he will whimper in the throws of a nightmare which may not even be his own...

...only to wake up as himself and not know my face.

Could I say, then, that he loves me in return?

He treats me... like I am dear to him.

Saying that he wants to see my insides is his way of saying that I matter.

Matter to him.

Even if it means my death, I want this to mean that he loves me in return.

I want him to look at my insides and see 'love'. To know, finally, the true meaning of 'love'.

To lose someone is to love them.

To love someone is to make them a part of yourself.

To make someone a part of yourself is to understand them.

To understand them is to understand yourself.

I think that he knows this... sometimes.

And when he does... that is when we make love.

He rarely ever remembers the next morning. He treats me just like the 'self' he is that day likes to treat me... however that is.

There are no moments in the days that follow that suggest we would ever come together as a couple. Until the next night. When I brush his hair away from his face, tenderly, and I feel his eyes rake over my body, taking everything in...

He looks so needy, in this moment when our roles as 'Master' and 'Servant' are reversed.

You may think that this is a dishonest kind of love. That this kind of relationship -- where our roles change from day-to-day -- is not at all healthy. That we cannot love someone if we don't know who they are.

That I cannot call this 'love' at all.

But, have you heard the expression "going through the motions"?

You can't judge us, because these are _our_ motions.

No one else's.

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**A/N:** _Yes, Ai uses that last expression wrongly ("going through the motions" means only staying in a couple with someone because it's habit, just going through the motions that couples do because for some reason the relationship hasn't ended, when in all honesty it might be better off having ended). _

_But her and X's relationship has never exactly been usual, and this chapter is Ai thinking about their little "routines", about how she hopes that, unlike the motions in that phrase, their life together is not empty. X searches for meaning, and Ai hopes that there is, thinking that some people could look at their relationship and call it abnormal, say there isn't love between them, but knowing that there __is and that X just can't always see it._

_^_^ Hope that made sense. Their relationship is quite fascinating to me, clearly. Anyway, one last thing: I really need reviews, guys. It's a big wish of mine that this fic can get 10 reviews -- quantity isn't everything, not by any means, but even if I don't reach that I still want and need some feedback! So, thanks muchly to everyone who has reviewed so far. And for the people who favourited but stayed mysteriously silent... hmm..._

_Sorry for whining. I love you all really. ...Cookies?_


	6. Connections

_T__hank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited, alerted... you made it worthwhile for me to write and post a story like this. Please tell me what you thought of this final chapter, as that's just as important, and I'd love to know your favourite one. Personally, I liked 1 & 3 the best. ^_^ Goodbye!~  


* * *

_

**'Connections'  
**

My parents wanted a reality that wasn't reality.

Their reality was different to the one that I inhabited. But occasionally I could come inside of it... I wouldn't be the 'me' of my reality, but at least they could see the 'me' of _their _reality...

The moment that I grew tired of their reality, however... then they could no longer see me.

And it didn't matter to them.

All I wanted was for it to matter.

Denjin HAL occupied the same reality as my parents had -- that tantalising world between '1' and '0'.

But, he could see me.

To him, I mattered.

He was involved in my reality... but also his own.

I was involved in his reality... but also my own.

Neither of us had the ability to jump over to the other's reality.

But together we had found a way to connect them.

So, despite all the deaths that Denjin HAL's plan caused... despite how I was eventually filled with guilt... despite the fact that I helped to bring about his demise... despite his goal centred on another person...

I think he realised that all along I was thinking:

'thank you'.

Say hello to her from me, Harukawa, when you meet her in the afterlife. Tell the one you devoted your heart to, _just in passing_, about the 'Yuuya' of our realities.

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**end **


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